Hey, I Like You

We need to build our professional networks more like school kids expand their friendship circles. As grown-ups, we overcomplicate the whole networking experience.

Go to a conference. Tag people on LinkedIn. Get involved in associations. Put yourself out there. Ask for an informational interview (huh?). Manifest the connections you need (ok, I’ve never heard that one, but I’m sure someone says it).

These ideas aren’t necessarily bad. In fact, if you do them consistently enough, I suspect your network will grow. But to what end? After all, how many people can one truly know? As I think about the work I do, I realize I’m searching for richer relationships. Increasing reach helps others find me. Increasing richness helps us know each other.

When I was a kid, we made friends simply by hanging out. You like baseball? Me too? Let’s meet at the sandlot. Don’t want to play? Let’s trade baseball cards instead. No predetermined agenda - just shared interests plus some time together. The rest works itself it out.

What if networking didn’t need tactical objectives, leading indicators, or marketing funnels? What if it was a simple as saying “Hey, I like you – wanna hang out?”

I have found some of my favourite colleagues simply by staying curious, exploring shared interests, and letting the relationship breathe. My connection with Toby, for example, began when we joined an international call and ended up in the same breakout room. We struck up a conversation after the event and continue to meet regularly years later.

In fact, Toby suggested the book that got me thinking about my connections in the first place: Company of One by Paul Jarvis (a great read for solopreneurs!). I’ve since recommended Company of One to multiple people. I’ll take the richness of my relationship with Toby, over the reach of 100 new LinkedIn connections any day.

“Hey, I like you…” can work for you too.

PS: Toby does great work on creating cultures of belonging at work. Check Linksides out.

Inspiration

Jarvis, Paul (2018). Company of One. New York: First Mariner Books.